Online StoreControl Your Emotions Today
Firstly, understand that all emotions are here to serve us. Emotions brings color to life and makes it more interesting. But more importantly, it also tells us what is going on. Emotions are like signals and warning signs. Like when we are upset, we know something is not right. Or when we are angry it shows that something that should not happen happened.
However being overly emotional or being excessively influenced by emotions can result in many problems.
What we don’t want to do is ignore, avoid or suppress our emotions. Rather, we should acknowledge our emotions whenever it comes upon us. Try to understand and be aware of the message that the emotion is trying to tell us. Then proceed to respond to the message in the best way we can.
In other words, don’t treat your emotions as the enemy, rather treat it as the messenger. A messenger may bring good or bad news, but it certainly isn’t THE good or bad news.
The steps to controlling emotions;
1. Break off and disassociate
Once you have a surge of emotions coming over you, don’t indulge in it. Upon being aware of the emotion, immediately break off and disassociate from the emotion. That means become like a 3rd party observing what is happening. Like watching a movie.
What is important is to do it immediately. The longer you wait, the more momentum the emotion gains and the harder it is to control it.
One way to break the pattern is by doing, saying or thinking something totally unexpected, unrelated and bizarre. This jolts the brain so much that it losses the intensity of the emotion. The initial power of the emotion is drained away.
2. Get curious about the message of the emotion
Once you have disassociated yourself from the emotion, you can now assess the situation objectively. Without any emotional influence, ask yourself questions such as these ;
What emotions was I experiencing?
What just happened?
What does this mean?
What is the reason for me feeling that way?
In order to feel this way, what did I have to believe?
For me to feel better, what needs to happen?
Try to stay curious when asking those questions. Don’t get personal about it. When asking those questions, use a questioning curious tone to help keep yourself in a curious state.
Those questions will help you discover the message of the emotion you are experiencing. You will know why you feel that way, and what to do about it. By making sure that you are neutral before you start analyzing the situation, your assessment won’t be influenced by emotions.
3. Make a decision on what to do
Now that you’ve gotten yourself in a neutral state and assessed the situation objectively, it’s time to decide how to respond to the situation and what are the actions that you can take. It may doing something, communicating with someone or just changing your perception and mindset.
By staying neutral and disassociated from whatever emotions, you will know that you have come up with an objective solution to the situation.
Use those 3 steps to help in controlling emotions. Like many things, controlling emotions is a matter of habit. It will be harder at first but the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. Do it consistently and it will become a natural habit to respond to any negative emotion in an empowering manner.
