Online StoreTalking About Anger Management
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So, anger is the emotion a person gets when he or she does not get their way, or when a series of issues, which were buried waiting for the time to spring forth, rise to the surface. Aggression is a forceful act or modus operandi utilized to dominate another individual. Aggression is an argumentative, harmful or destructive way of behaving especially when caused by frustration. Aggression can be a good thing if your life is in danger, but in most instances aggression only causes problems.
Assertiveness on the other hand is an effective form of communicating your feelings to another individual without causing injury, destruction or argument. Assertiveness is a strong, bold confident quality we have within us that helps us to defend our rights when others wrong us. If we learn the difference between aggression and assertiveness we can learn a good behavioural pattern, while controlling our life and avoiding more problems.
So, if you are feeling frustrated, you might want to sit down and rethink your situation, opinions, theories, reasoning etc. By reviewing the sources that get you angry, you can reduce the tension when you feel anger brewing; then you will realize that it is not worth getting angry about, as the reason for your frustrations are out of your control. For example, when you are evaluating yourself, you might see another point of view and conclude that your frustration is out of order.
Assertive action against a person who has wronged you, can be far more effective than blowing a gasket. We can see from an example, how someone loses his or her temper and what consequences he or she must face because of it.
For example, two people are engaged in an argument and a fight breaks out. One of the individuals was accused of spreading lies about the other. The violent episode attracts the neighbours and the police are called. When the police arrive, both parties are placed in handcuffs and both are taken to jail. Their problems increase since they both may pay fines, court costs and, possibly, probation fees. Therefore, one problem led to a series of problems and it does not stop there. When the pair is free of all fines, costs, jail and so forth they will have a police record whereby everyone will judge them for the rest of their lives, viewing them as immature, violent people.
Now let us look at another example were assertiveness was used in the scene. A couple of people confront each other after one person has spread lies throughout the neighborhood about the other person. The person victimized by the rumours walks up to his opponent and asks: ‘Why are you telling people that I have a drinking problem?’. The other person says, ‘I did not tell anyone that you have a drinking problem’. ‘Wrong!’, says the first person, ‘You told my best friend who is not a liar’. ‘Well, I assumed that you had a drinking problem because you were drinking every time I came to your house’.
‘Because I drink every time you come to my house does not mean I have a problem. I refuse to allow you to continue dragging my name through the mud and nor will I allow you to visit my home again, if you continue lying about me. Friends do not harm other friends. If you have issues with me confront me with them instead of going behind my back’. What a very good job! This person did a wonderful job asserting himself and the results will most likely prove fruitful. Let us see what happens. ‘I am sorry; I did not mean to offend you. I will talk to you next time I have a problem with you. However, I am concerned that your drinking may be a problem, since you do drink every time I visit your home’. ‘Well, OK then let us go to my place and discuss the issue’.
